This summer… When the air gets thick… And the lube gets thicker… One kennel dares to go where no hashers have gone before… Mark your damn calendars, degenerates— Because HASHYMANIA is about to rip your weekend a new one!

Welcome to the TURD ANAL ON IN H3 CAMPOUT! A slobberknocker of beer, balls, boobs, cheese, and body slams! A trail so legendary it only took 100 hashes to maybe—just maybe—become a real kennel! [Cue crowd chanting “FAKE KENNEL! FAKE KENNEL!”]

Step into the ring for the SNACKDOWN PPV, where legends are born and livers go to die! Dare to face the Malört Mile—or the Soju Mile, if your pride’s on life support. Drop your brew in Draft Punk, where only one beer gets to hold the title of booze god! And when the sun goes down… Prepare for DRAGGIN’ BALLS ZZZ—where the balls are real, the nudity is “area specific,” and the decisions are 90% questionable. [Cue slow pan across shirtless promos, glowing fires, and open mic screamers]

With home-cooked food (possibly containing lube), An open spiked punch bar (we don’t test for anything), And a gym-worthy hab so sweaty it makes ‘Hulkamania in ‘88’ look like yoga— (boooo)

This ain’t just camping. This is survival… With glitter. [Cut to announcer in speedo, pointing at the camera like it owes him money.] So grab your tent, your worst instincts, and your best fake championship belt— Because ON IN H3 is throwing down harder than a steel chair in a sybian factory! HASHYMANIA 2025. LXIX Trails. Infinite regrets. Unlimited beer. Will you survive… Or will you just end up naked in the wrong zone? BE THERE. OR BE SOBER.

Rego:
69 cap with $99.69 rego
(Gimme cutoff is May 16th! However, we can show you how to order one if you’re feeling like a left-out little bitch.)

SO… WHO’S TAKIN’ THE TITLE OF SNACKDOWN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION?

Will it be you?
Will you chug your way through the Malört Mile, survive the draggin’ balls, and rise from the steel cage of sin to hoist that title high while Dos Straps drops beats so hard, your nipples form an LLC?

Come ready to bleed… glitter.
Come ready to scream… in autotune.
Come ready to fight dirty, dance filthy, and drink dangerously.

Event Rundown:
- This will be a tent camping event, so pack what’s necessary to survive three nights of grappling, guzzling, and questionable decisions.
- A large fire will be lit at all times, perfect for fireball shots and shirtless promos.
- Nudity and naked wrestling only in specified areas—but feel free to cut a promo anywhere.
- Bring your C+ game to Friday night’s open mic! Sing, shred, strip, spit some bars, or moon the crowd while monologuing like you just won the Royal Rumble.
- Then drop your best brew for Draft Punk. Only one can win the SNACKDOWN Heavyweight Title of Booze, but hey, even losers get lit.
- Saturday morning kicks off with the Malort Mile, for those who hate themselves, or the Soju Mile, for those pretending to have dignity. Double down if you’re a true champion.
- Saturday's stacked like a wrestler on 'roids.
- The costume contest will anoint our One True Hogan—come as your favorite wrestler, ring girl, Vince McMahon’s illegitimate kid, or just oiled up and angry.
- After that, DJ BUST A NUT will be dropping harder than a steel chair to the face. Double nut confirmed.

Includes:
- BEER! SELTZER!
- SOJU! MALORT!
- PPV EVENTS (including ones you’ll forget by morning)!
- Open Spiked Punch Bar (we don’t test for anything)
- Home-Cooked Food (may contain lube)
- Gym-Worthy Hab (get ready to sweat like Hulk Hogan in '88)
- Happy Thots (mood subject to alcohol and attention)

Optional:
- Surprise Slam Shots! Pre-order your shot and watch the chaos unfold when your victim registers. ($3 each. Shot flavors range from fruity delight to regret.)
- Please send the Slam Shot recipients in your PayPal payment note!
- Early arrivals on Thursday are welcome—but BYOB and you might get roped into setting up the ropes.

HASHYMANIA!

Tent, Wrestler/Ring Girl Attire, Party Attitude, Happy Thots