A Long time ago, in the frozen tundra of Minnesota, a ragtag group of brave yet foolish hashers found themselves deep in the woods on what should have been a quick, snowy trail. But the weather turned. The snow thickened. And then… they heard it:

The Yeti.

A monstrous, beer-fueled beast native to the Great Frozen North. Towering. Shaggy. Reeking of expired Hamm's and despair. And it had one mission: to devour wimps. With no other choice, the group hashed onward. Traversing mile after mile through knee-deep snow, over icy creeks, and into thickets of soul-shredding shiggy. Pounding down trail snacks and hastily brewed concoctions that slushed in their hands. But they dare not stop. Then, an idea. The leader of the pack corralled the group, circling up in defiance, singing filthy songs to confuse the beast. And when it got too close, they screamed:

“ON-ON!”

The Yeti paused. Confused? Impressed? No one knows. But it turned, vanishing into the snowy shadows, leaving behind only crushed cans and slightly yellow snow.

And thus, No Wimps was born. An annual test of endurance and liver strength, pushing the limit to the frozen edges of sanity. Every year, the legend grows—new trails, new beer, same ole Yeti looming in the distance, waiting for the weak.

If you hash No Wimps, you’re part of the story.
If you survive, you’re part of the legend.
If you wimp out… well, the Yeti remembers.

Marking a milestone of misery, the 35th Anal No Wimps will bring pain, beer, and frozen glory to Battle Creek. In order to recreate hash lore, we’ve done the unthinkable: pulled Heart On out of retirement to lay a truly shit-tastic trail that promises snow, ice, wind, creek-crossings, and the most soul-crushing shiggy Minnesota has to offer. The question isn’t will you wimp out, but will you survive to tell the tale...

Rego Tiers:
• Cool Rego (Now – 10/15/25): $55
• Wanker Rego (10/16/25 – 1/9/26): $69
• Dumbass Rego (1/10/26 – 1/16/26): $80

If you rego via Zelle, please use your nerd name or just note what payment is for, your name is shared via Zelle.

What You Get with Rego:
• A 35th Anal No Wimps shirt to commemorate your misery
• An event patch to prove your poor choices to other kennels
• All the drinks you know you can’t handle
• Specialty drinks brewed by the hares themselves (only some sperm this time)
• Trail snacks so you don’t bitch
• Post-trail food (and beer to help it go down easier)
• The trauma of knowing you paid for this

35th Analversary, duh

Anything that will keep you from dying, like a warm jacket, wool socks, hand warmers, thick gloves/mittens, long underwear and top, change of clothes