There we were, her head in my hand, lying on the streets of Mobile, when she thrust her hand out in desperation. I knew immediately what she was searching for, a whole roasted chicken. Lubi’s eyes darted around the sidewalk, and it hurt to see her spirits dim as she realized there was none. I also knew that even if she were to find that one true joy, it just wouldn’t be the same. Because I knew at that moment… Lubi was sober. “How could I let this happen!?” I yelled to myself. I began to realize, it wasn’t just Lubi, it was all the hashers, including myself. We were all sobering up.
I KNEW what had happened, DR. SOBRIETY. That fiend had struck again, and despite our best efforts, had vanquished us. I ran back to the start to see if I could find the beer coolers, The hares had clearly pre-laid and had already come to claim the on-in vehicle once we'd on-on’d. Dr. Sobriety had tricked the hares. It was my worst nightmare.
As I followed trail back to where I left Lubi, I found her eating an old apple at the smallest hope that contained at least a little of that poison, but alas, it was just rotten. I grabbed Lubi, spun her around, and said “Lubi, the beer, the champagne, the booze, it’s gone, IT’S ALL GONE!”. Lubi slapped me in the face, I was taken aback, but she was right, I was flippin out.
“What do I do Lubi!?” I yelled, “How do I stop the sobering process!?”. Lubi look at me with sober eyes and said “Look upon yourself, if you look hard enough, you’ll find the answer. The evil Dr. Sobriety may have tricked the hares, but he can never hope to win the battle against all the true wankers. Send out the alarm, let all the kennels know what has happened here, have them send their truest heroes, we need all the Super Hashers to battle this villain.”
Lubi was right, we need heroes, SUPER heroes, HASHY SUPER HEROES! As many as we can get! I pulled the hash emergency flare from my backpack, pointed it to the sky, and pulled the rip cord. A flash of light and a trail of fire and smoke blazed into the air. At the top of its ascent, it exploded to form a giant keg shaped light show. “That was really cool” I thought. I then used my phone and created a rego page and sent out word to all the kennels to send their greatest hashy super heroes immediately.
“Have you look upon yourself my hasher?” Lubi said clearly and without a single slurring of a syllable, it was heartbreaking. “Yes, I can become the hero we need, I can become the hashy SUPER hero we need! I’ll find a way out of this sober nightmare with the help of all the heroes!” It was at this moment Lubi grabbed me by both shoulders, squared herself with me, and said this…
“WITH SHITTY BEER COMES GREAT SHENANIGANS”
The words poured over me. Inspired, I began to search around for pubs and even food markets in which I could find the sweet booze.
“No seriously, did you look upon yourself?” Lubi asked.
Inspired I knew she wanted to hear my commitment.
“Yes, I now know I can become the supe-“
“No, you dumb shit. I literally saw you sneak like 6 beers into your back pack. Stop being a twat and give me one."
I had completely forgotten. I frantically searched through My backpack, I found water, and knew Dr. Sobriety had been there, but at the bottom, there they were, 6 luke-warm beers. I pulled them out and started to hand them out.
With beer in hand Lubi proclaimed this,
“This will ward off the sobering for only so long. We must persevere, we must not let Dr. Sobriety win this day. I know our fellow hashers will come! GCH3 MUST NOT GIVE IN TO SOBRIETY!”
As the hashers rallied to Lubi’s call, I knew she was right. It will be a rough time until the other hashers get here, but GCH3 believes in our fellow kennels.
“WE WILL BEAT DR. SOBRIETY TOGETHER!!”
Fin
You heard Lubi everyone. We need Superheroes. Hashy Super heroes. You all have your own super power, and every one of you will be needed to vanquish Dr. Sobriety and his horde of H2Ogres. HASHERS UNITE!!

Be your own SUPERHERO! Dig deep and discover what your super power is!

Masks, capes, costumes, and especially the hashtility belts