A PhD, a Harvard snob, and a state school (MIT) graduate walk into a bar… This may sound like the start to the most pretentious joke you’ve ever heard, but we’ve killed too many brain cells hashing, so it’s honestly just a way to describe the on-after for this Masshole-led trail.

Every year, on the third Monday in April, Massachusetts celebrates Patriots’ Day—a holiday honoring the start of the Revolutionary War, which began with the infamous Battles of Lexington & Concord. This year is the 250th anniversary of Paul Revere’s ride and the ‘whites of their eyes’ and possibly the last year of the freedom from tyranny we so enthusiastically threw tea into the hahbah for, so let’s do it up right for #america.

For non-history buffs, Patriots’ Day is also often known as Marathon Monday. You’ll find Bostonians of the hash-minded-variety starting the day with a coffee from Dunkin’, several beers at the Red Sox game, then grabbing another drink (or ten) along Boylston Street to watch the marathoners cross the finish line.

So, whether your preference is for the Colonial tri-corner hat vibe, the Patriotic red-white-and-blue, the Boston sports team of your choice, or the truly r*ceist activity of running a marathon, don the appropriate clothing and meet us for a run around Hahvahd Yahd (jk) to celebrate your favorite Massholes as we attempt to live up to our Patriots’ Day birthright of absolute drunken shenanigans.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 17th, 2025. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Eisenhower Metro (follow marks to start on Port St)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Eisenhower Ave & Mill Race Ln

Hares: Ha-Cum-On My Tatas, Pussy has Defects (PhD), and Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Trail Details:
- Runners: 2.5 mi. first half / 1.5 mi. second half
- Walkers: 1.25 mi first half / 0.8 mi. second half
- Shiggy: 2.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.4 mi to Huntington Metro, 0.5 to on-after). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry socks for runners if it’s rained in the past week, your best Boston accent, and a thirst for beer. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. We also have a bag van!

End Metro: Huntington (Yellow line)
Last Trains Out: Yellow line to Mt Vernon Sq - 11:24 PM

On After*: 2 Jefes
Specials: Ya mahm thinks yah special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Give Back to the Hash!

BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.

HARES! Ready to help hare or make your own trail? Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.

ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com.

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!