No offense to any of you breeders out there, but you’ve had your day/s already, now it’s time for a day for all of us non-breeders. We should have a day to be celebrated for helping offset all the reproducers out there and keeping the population in check. To that end, introducing the First Anal NOT Father’s Day Trail. Whether pulling out, anal, oral, condoms, or good ol’ fashioned vasectomies, however you prevent pregnancy when you cum, cheers to you!! And cheers to the ladies too, for doing the heavy lifting with birth control and playing goalie. This trail celebrates all who haven’t procreated, for whatever your reasons… And if you need some reasons, here are some celebrity takes on why they don’t spawn: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/g35350991/celebrities-without-kids/

Also, it’s going to be HOT and trail is on the summer solstice, so get ready to enjoy the LONGEST day of the year. There will be all the sunlight and an excessive amount of heat, so be smart and wear as little as possible…

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 20, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center Metro (Green/Yellow lines)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Capital Bikeshare: Convention Center / 7th & M St NW

Hares: No Strings Attached, Schrodinger’s Cock, Tuneless, Bipolar Bear, You Can’t Handle the Poop

Trail Details:
- Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 1.5 mi. second half
- Walkers: 1.0 mi. first half / 0.75 mi. second half
- Shiggy: 0.069

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.2 mi to Shaw-Howard U Metro). Bring your own vessel and a full water bottle (stay hydrated!). You won’t need a cranium light or dry shoes, bug spray at your discretion. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Shaw-Howard University Metro Station
Last Trains Out:
Green - Branch Ave: 11:47 PM
Green - Greenbelt: 12:21 AM

On After: Electric Cool-Aid
Specials: Ice cold drinks are full price, but special with how hot it will be (and they are making sure food will still be available when we get there).