New Year's was almost a month ago and just staying home is getting, well, dull. Luckily, your hares have a tropical-themed festival trail to keep you warm on what is, statistically, D.C.'s coldest day of the year. Some people call your hares the Big Kahunas of Hashing. Some people call D.C. the Honolulu of the Mid-Atlantic. Some people say, screw it, I want a drink with a tiny umbrella and a fruit salad on top! Dig out your coconut bra, grass skirt, ukulele, longboard, can o' SPAM, and pineapple - still no tiki torches, please - for a fun night straight out of Paul Gauguin's fever dreams!

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If you're too young to know who this is, I'mma tell you it's Paul Gauguin.

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Foggy Bottom Metro - follow marks to start in Washington Circle!

Hares: Pinocchi-Ho, Vagina is for Lawyers, Tie Me Up Before You Go-Go, Cock Whisperer, Just Colby, and Ready Player None

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A'. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (again, no tiki torches!) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners' trail will be approximately 4.6 miles long (about 2.1 miles first half and 2.5 miles second half). Walkers' trail is roughly half that (1mi and 1.3mi).

Last trains out of Foggy Bottom:

Ashburn - 12:01 AM
Largo - 12:00 AM
Franconia - 12:03 AM
Huntington - 12:07 AM
New Carrollton - 11:54 PM
Vienna/FFX-GMU - 12:09 AM

On After: The Tombs, 1226 36th St NW

Specials: $15 Shock Top pitchers after 10pm