It's Miss Kunte if ya nasty
Hare Line and associated kennels cumming soon!
Like a mayfly, you'll likely be 'dead' at the end of this event..... but as long as you die at closing circle, we'll consider our work successful and a good time had by all, including Jack.
On a serious note: We want everybody to have fun and actually NOT die, so READ THIS STUFF!!!
What do you need to know before Memorial Day Weekend? Glad you asked! I love typing up long, silly messages that you have to sift through the gems of wisdom so that you can stay alive...
1) We are starting at Dupont Circle Fountain. We are circling up RIGHT AT 1PM. So don't be late! In fact, be EARLY as shenanigans will start before that. Make a contingency plan for your car as parking in DC sucks a big one. The red line drops you right at start so maybe go with that. We will be doing a quick rego check-in right before opening circle. This is where s/Kooter will shake you down for $40 (if you did not use the pay pal app already. On site pay pal and Venmo are fine too. **Please go friends and family! Fees suck and they smack me around for receipts and shit and I really don't wanna...email@example.com for PayPal, Venmo you can scan at check in)
21 Dupont Cir NW, Washington, DC 20036
2) What to bring:
Water bottle or camel pack. Hydration is SOOOOOOO important on this. We are going to be providing lots of water and refills over the 24 hours, so have something to carry it in. Like typical spring DC weather, it's as drunk as we are and often flips from cold and rainy to hot and sunny, so don't let the heat beat you!
SUNSCREEN!!!!!! Seriously, have you seen Bipolar Bear's legs? Or GPS? Don't be like them. Slather up. :) (Love you guys!) Bring and wear sunscreen. You don't need it at night, but wear it then too, just in case you get a moonburn.
Comfy shoes, and possibly a change of shoes. There is going to be shiggy. Last year people got lots of blisters from not wearing the right shoes. Seriously it was a bloody mess. Dry Bag Van will be provided and meet you at all of the stops.
Change of clothes (a couple actually)!!! There is going to be shiggy so changing out is good after that, but frankly, you all are going to start to get sweaty and smell. A change of clothes partway through will raise not only your spirits, but of those wankers who are stuck standing next to you in circle. Pack into a carry-on or smaller sized bag LABELED with your name/info.
Have your phones with you in some fashion (see below)
COME HYDRATED AND READY FOR A LOT OF EXERCISE!!! Eat right beforehand.
3) We are REQUIRING everybody wait at all song checks and at the BH on trail. The hares are under instructions to have only 1 song check between beer stops / circles. It is VITALLY important that people get from A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-Z-A' (Victory lap will be around the monuments getting you somewhat back to the start...) Hares that take on each will earnestly be trying to keep the pack somewhat together- this is important as we descend into the wilds of DC as night time sets in. Safety third... but really... Walkers: Not expecting you to be crazy r*cist, but keep up the pace, hehe. We've got places to go, and wankers to get drunk.
4) Start locations for each trail are being broadcasted on the Facebook event page and email 30 minutes before each trail. Feel free to have tech on trail for this (throw it in the beer / support car on shiggy trails).
5) FOOD!!! All this energy needs FOOD!!! We are going to have snacks & chips available as well as some grab-n-go sandwich type things. If you have any serious "I'm going to die allergies" message us and we'll do our best to tell you not to eat something with that in it. Please make sure to have your CC / cash on you for stops at 7-11 or similar places you chance upon the way.
6) Arrange crash space. Driving tired is more dangerous than driving drunk. We have a lot of local hashers and we can help find some place to put your sleepy craniums once all this wraps up. Please do NOT drive exhausted!
7) Use bathrooms as they are available. Many trails will not have bathrooms available so keep that in mind. A lot are out in the wooded areas of the city, others we will be targeting every port-a-john and public restroom we can find and run trail by them.
8) It is REQUIRED that everyone fills out the emergency contact form: https://forms.office.com/r/1xasrkatLD
Most importantly of all: Have fun and survive!!! Misman will be present on all trails, so reach out to us with anything that comes up and we'll help keep things running smoothly.
Richmond H3, Tidewater H3 and DC Area Hashers
Survival of the Beerest
Vessel/Camel Pak, Cranium Lamp, Sunscreen, Bug Spray
Dupont Circle Fountain
21 Dupont Cir NW, Washington, DC 20036
5/28, Trail 1- Dupont Cir Fountain 1pm-3pm
5/28, Trail 2 - Georgetown Boat Club/Key Bridge 3pm-5pm
5/28 Trail 3 - Mount Zion Cemetery 5pm-7pm
5/28 Trail 4 - Field next to Allen Pl NW apartments 7pm-9pm
5/28 Trail 5 - End of Upshur Rd, Edge of Rock Creek 9pm-11pm
5/28 Trail 6 - Rock Creek Box Office Parking Lot 11pm- 1am
5/29 Trail 7 - Fort Slocum 1am-3am
5/29 Trail 8 - Bunker Hill Rd NE Underpass/Park Area 3am-5am
5/29 Trail 9 - Thurgood Marshall Elementary (Forested area behind it) 5am-7am
5/29- Trail 10 - E Cap Street Bridge 7am-9am
5/29 Trail 11 - John Philip Sousa Bridge 9am-11am
5/29 Trail 12 - Under 695 11am-1pm
Roll Over Bitch!
The Tits Have Eyes
Nein Ich Nailed
Any Cock’ll Do Me
downward dog shit
Down Down on the Brown Brown
Ate Ball Cum Pocket
Boots & Pants
Branded Booty Queen (BBQ)
the Fast & Bike-urious
There's Something About Hairy
Gave Educator Dick
Always Needs Ample Lube
Beetlejizz, Beetlejizz, Beetlejizz
Stone Cold Steven Autism
Two Girls One Nerd
Sorry For Your Loss
Mom we're done bring me cookies
Farm to Table
The Vomiteen Rabbit
all day i dream about sausage
Top Shelf Tuna
Choo Choo Cabra
Chix Won’t Stick
Straight in the Navy
Gonna Probably Spew
It's Free? I'll Do It
Meat Slut Slapher
Lickity Splitz Down the Pole
Open Whore Policy
Kibbles ‘n Vomit
The Cocktease Falcon
Jewels of duh Nile
Fight of the Bumble Tree