This year, the Berserk Trail will (attempt) to coincide with your normally scheduled AH3 trail, rejoining the Turkey & Eagle types who are NOT dumb enough to attempt a trail that will surely challenge even the most experienced half-minds.

Your unhinged Hare, Peter Beater Ant Feeder, promises to give you something to remember.. mostly blisters, chaffing, and tired legs. Wait.. isn’t that what he always does?

For everyone else (non-Berserk types), Peter Beater’s Co-Hares will be laying a Turkey / Eagle trail with nice cold beer and beautiful views for the normal $10/$6 fee. Turkey will be stroller friendly, Eagle will go a little off trail. Hash dog approved!

WARNING:
This trail is NOT for the faint of heart. There will be a little bit of everything. Expect non-stop elevation and a serious leg workout. You will likely be exposed to very confused muggles, narrow ridges, sketchy drop offs, tall shiggy, shallow water crossings (avoidable if necessary), soft sand, long stretches without shade, fast flying objects, waterways and even some dreaded pavement. Did I miss anything? Oh. ROCKS!

Berserk Bastards (that’s you), are expected to be self-sufficient. There will (likely) NOT be beer on trail until you rejoin with the AH3 pack, ASSUMING we time it right - which means there really might not be any beer on trail. There’s no promises the beer will still be there by the time you get back or that you will even get back in time for circle - but we will try.

QUITTING:
Spitters are quitters - swallow your pride and carry on.
If you tap out (quit) while on trail, you are expected to (1) Notify the lead hare and (2) make it back ON HOME yourself. That means walking or calling a friend / Uber.

The hares will not provide transportation UNLESS you decide to “throw in the towel” at the aid station and are okay with waiting for everyone else to cycle through. Not completing the ENTIRE trail disqualifies you from earning the patch, but does not DQ you from cold beer at circle, HUZZAH!!

OTHER:
We expect you may run out of water on this trail, so there will be exactly ONE “aid station” to refill bladders with water. The aid-station may or may not have beer, gatorade, or trail bars, so you should pack some form of fuel.

You will be exposed to unsympathetic, possibly sadistic, hares. Plan accordingly.
The aid station will have limited ability to extract those who wish to tap out here.

Due to some areas that we will be navigating through, and just the general nature and length of this trail, hash dogs should NOT attend.

Participants should hashers who have completed at least ONE Eagle Trail with the AH3 prior to attending. You’re all adults, (or have adults vouching for your ability), so your decisions are your own. Hares and the AH3 are not liable for your half-minded decisions and overconfidence in ability (especially in your ability to be stupid).

Finally, Berserk Bastards (again - that’s you) must provide the hares with a way to contact you on trail. There will NOT be a trail-sweep, and extraction (aside from the single aid-station) will not be offered except for in emergencies.

DISCLAIMER:
Individual experiences may vary, batteries not included, void where prohibited, no purchase necessary. This trail contains obstacles known to the State of California to cause injury, threats to general longevity, and other potential harms. According to the Surgeon General, women should not attempt this trail during pregnancy. Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to make smart decisions and may cause health problems and your friends to accuse you of being an idiot at circle.

BUT WHY THOUGH:
What’s in it for you? Well, a sense of accomplishment (or embarrassment), and for those without one, an Aloha BERSERK patch - (assuming you finish and make it to the Eagle beer stop for accountability and proof of life).

Date: April 25th, 2026

Cost: $20.
(Covers AH3 trail credit, Berserk patches, and additional food ON-HOME). If you are unable to afford the additional cost to attend, please reach out to Peter Beater.

Start Time:
1. Chalk Talk - 09:30am.
2. Safety Talk - 09:45am. You need to be present for the safety briefing and sign in sheet.
3. PUNCTUAL - 10:00am away time (SUBJECT TO CHANGE). Those who arrive late and still choose to do trail are dumb.. but should still contact the lead hare at: (808)583-7289.

Distance: 13+ miles. (Spartan Beast Distance)
Beer Checks: Likely 0. Potentially 2.
Requirements: Water, like a full camel back at start - (preferably with a 3L bladder).
Recommended: Snacks (trail bars, trail mix).
Aid Station: One for water replenishment

BERSERK

Berserk Bastards MUST bring a water-source, preferably a 3L bladder. Put in your Amazon orders now! Ask Peter Beater about his and you too can look swanky in a TactiCool Sports Bra.