AYE LOW HAAAAAAAA!

Want to get away from Aloha H3 and their never ending Charter discussion? Have you done every other hash related event EXCEPT THIS ONE? Just looking for an excuse to come to Oahu?

Well then please come celebrate with me, Parallel Porking, July 4th weekend as I slide into my unlucky mid-life crisis year (44) with the inaugural (as far as I can tell) Half Marathon course on the beautiful South Western Coast of Oahu, a little over half way through the year which is a little over half way through the decade Half way around the world (for some of you).…

What exactly does a half mind half case look like with Aloha?
13ish Miles, 13 beverages, starting at Electric Beach going through Ko Olina. There’s a patch and prizes! Shotgun start’s are encouraged, coordinate with Parallel.

First Prize will be an Aloha Friday inspired Half Marathon Half Mind Half Ass'd Button down shirt. It was purchased from a quasi famous second hand store located hidden on the west side of Oahu. One size, fits most.

Second Prize will be an Aloha inspired Rainbow Carry All. It was also purchased from a thrift store on Oahu but it wasn’t as fancy as the shirt, I just thought it was cute.

Trophies will be inscribed with the top finishing hashers for the following categories:
Singles, Ready to mingle - Single hasher doing all 13 miles and beverages by themselves
Duo Deeds Done Dirt Cheep - Two hashers split the load as they see fit
33.3 Repeating of course - Groups of three!
Four More Beers! - Squad up and roll out! This category is open to teams comprised of four or more!

Enter now and secure you’re name on the potential ridiculously silly Stanley Cup like trophy that comes out of this. If this becomes an Aloha tradition you could be an OG! (And fuck it there’s a patch!)

To qualify for any of the above mentioned prizes applicants must have completed the course and all requirements before closing circle at Aloha H3 trail roughly scheduled for 1800HST 4JUL26. (Or have coordinated with Parallel Porking to complete the course virtually, exceptions may apply)

Slightly more information can be found at this link.

This event is open to any and all hashers in good standing with the community at large EXCEPT HAOLEWOOD, and he knows why….
* DD’s are allowed to chose where their records be recorded (ie if they’d like to be part of a duo or just registered as a participant!)
* The rules are more like guidelines
* All traditions are subject to change at any time for any reason and all final decisions will be made at the pleasure of Parallel Porking. If you don’t like that, you can fuck right off and host your own event ;)